Last week, as I was driving to work, I heard the tail-end of a discussion on my local radio station. The buzz was about a recent article in BabyTalk Magazine about working moms vs. stay-at –home moms. I was unable to locate the article, but the dialogue turned a little nasty and really disturbed me.
A working mom came on the radio and announced that stay-at-home moms were “lazy and unmotivated.” A stay –at-home mom countered that working moms are “unwilling to sacrifice for their children.”
Do you want to know what I think?
It may surprise you........
WHO GIVES A FLYING FLIP WHAT I THINK??? OR ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER???
Seriously, why do will still discuss this issue? Does another mom’s personal decision affect me in ANY way? NO? So who cares? But for some reason, this is still a heated debate in our country. Are working moms “neglecting” their kids? Are stay-at-home moms not “reaching their full potential?” Why the debate?
I think a contributor to New York Magazine sums it up well:
Motherhood, for all its well-documented joys, has become a flash point for envy, resentment, and guilt. "Everybody struggles, and everybody envies what the other has," says the stay-at-home mother of a 9- and a 14-year-old. "The working mom wishes she had more free time to be available to her child, and maybe have coffee after drop-off. And the nonworking woman would maybe like to have something that's a reflection of her as an individual -- a label that says she's a capable, creative person who knows about more than just baby formula or after-school programs."
So really, it’s all about resentment. We all want a little of what the other has. Every mom feels guilty in her own right. I am a working mother, but have also been a stay-at-home mom. I can vouch for both sides. Neither way is best. What is best is dependent on the parties involved. All I know is that I, like most mothers, want my children to feel happy and loved. And I have no doubt that they do. That’s all that matters, right? So, if you ask me, I think that anyone who wants to make judgment about another mother’s personal life is bitter and unhappy with her own life.
I have talked about this topic more than it deserves. Feel free to add your comments.
2 comments:
I think you nailed it right on the nose. I have been both a working mother and now a stay at home mommy and they both have their own pros and cons. You have to do what is best for YOU and YOUR children, not to make everyone else happy.
Amen, Christy. Right now I'm straddling the fence and working part-time. To me, it's a good balance, but no matter what I still feel guilty. I feel guilty when I tell people at work that I only want to work 2 days a week, and I feel guilty when I tell my friends (who are SAHM's) and family that I've gone back to work. It's a no-win situation!
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