The New "Me"

In case you haven’t heard through Facebook or word of mouth, I have recently become a stay-at-home mom. After much prayer and discussion, Jay and I took the leap of faith and agreed that I would spend my time here at home, taking care of our family, instead of working like I have been for the past 4-5 years. People had been saying, “I don’t know how you do it all.” Well, I was getting “it all” done, but at the expense of my family. I am a typical type “A” personality. As much as I’ve tried to change some of my perfectionist tendencies, it’s really a part of who I am as a person, and it isn’t easy to change those traits! I was getting 5-6 hours of sleep at night, and coming home impatient and tired. Then, I had to figure out dinner, help with homework, give baths, etc, etc. And take care of Houston! I was not the person that I hoped to be. I have wanted to be a mom my whole life, and I was not the mom that I had envisioned. Not to say that we all have to be perfect, but I was not spending my time wisely. And my family was getting my leftovers, you could say. They seemed to think things were fine. But I knew otherwise. I knew how much better I could be. Hayley is going to be going through many changes in the next few years, and I want us to have the type of relationship where she feels she can talk to me. We were not going to develop that relationship in a couple of hours every day where I was behaving more like a drill sergeant than a mother. I had Houston because I felt like the years have flown by and my other two babies were going to be teenagers before I could blink. Then, I wasn’t able to spend as much time with him, because he was going to bed an hour after we would get home in the evening.


The decision wasn’t easy. When you slowly become a two-income family, you slowly acquire two-income bills. So it was a very hefty pay-cut. In light of the current economy, I felt guilty that people were honestly losing their jobs, and unable to find work. But I knew that I could not let that hinder my step in the right direction. I worked out a budget – there’s not much room for uncertainty – and we decided that it was feasible if we kept to it. We have good credit and pay all of our bills on time, so it is very important to me that we keep it that way. As a friend said recently, “You spend as much money as you make.” How true! We would just have to be creative, and realize that I don’t REALLY need all that new furniture that I want!


It has been almost a month, and my family LOVES the new “Me!” I am not stressed, impatient, tired (well, maybe I am tired, but it’s a GOOD tired!) or irritable. I take time to play. I cook – yikes! I keep the house clean. Jay is not wondering when he is going to have clean underwear! I am much more laid-back, you could say. I would not say that it is easy staying home. It’s difficult to get some things done when I have a 9 month old and other people that need my attention. But I’m not resentful anymore. I know that this is now my “job,” and it’s the best job ever. I hope to learn what God’s plan is for me, and spend my time following HIS purpose. It’s taking some time to get the routine down, and to be honest, some days don’t go as planned AT ALL. But that’s okay. As long as I make my home a happy place to be, then I am doing my job.